PROVIDENCE

     It is no fluke or coincidence that I just "happen" to be reading Job in Scripture, reading Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb, working on the study for our MOMS group, When God Doesn't Fix It  by Laura Story, and coming to the "anniversary" of the death date of my eldest adult son, David.  I attribute these events to the Providence of God.  From an ole preacher and teacher on the radio, J. Vernon McGee, "Providence is the means by which God directs all things-both animate and inanimate-seen and unseen, good and evil-toward a worthy purpose, which means He must prevail."  "His hand is in the glove of human events."  Pro is the Latin prefix meaning before and video in the Latin, the word, see.  Truly God sees all, He knows all, He hears all, and is everywhere present. 

This whole year has been one of facing the hard cold fact that someone I gave birth and have loved with all my heart is ABSENT.  I have not always openly wept and wailed, but there have been times of private weeping and wailing  in my own prayer time and in praying with my husband.  I confess that this loss, just as the loss of another that I loved wholeheartedly, has again more deeply driven me into the arms of God, my El Shaddai, to find peace, assurance, comfort, and confidence that God Knows What He is doing in my life  even in those times that I have dared to ask, "Father, are You sure You know what You are doing to me?" The truth from Scripture is that God is ABLE to use shattered dreams to bring about the greatest and best spiritual work in us.  I know that God has not orchestrated the pains we experience in this earthly life to drive us AWAY from Him, but to draw us to His heart.  There have been the highs and lows emotionally as I have tried to sort out grief and its responses.  I fully understand that any and all dis-ease which affects our lives is the work of the FALL and evil, yet in it all, according to His Master Plan and Purpose, the Lord Jesus endured the persecution and death of Calvary that you and I could know and experience overcoming and victory in this life NOW.  The NOW in the midst of the dis-ease that seeks to corrupt my worship and adoration of the Lord which NOW means I am desperate for Him and intimacy with Him.  Pain causes us to have better insight and discernment about His purpose for us, and compassion for others who are also experiencing dis-ease from the stresses and presses in this life. Our responses to grief and to its pain are a process of working through and working out our thoughts.   

God has been so very gracious, loving, and patient with this spiritually finite, flawed, and frail child.  The real truth, as much as I love this life and the relationship with others, Heaven is the perfect destination for ALL whom I love where we will experience life to be perfect...the ALL who have made the choice of Jesus as Savior and Lord.  Thank you, Lord, that this life on earth is not what eternal life is ALL about! Thank You for being the God of Providence, THE ONE WHO PREVAILS in my life, sometimes in spite of me.  Forever learning.  In process.  #IHAVETHREESONS.